The truth is

I was experience strong suicidal ideation

My whole life fell apart around me because I was like I'll be dead soon

I got help and suddenly all the reasons I didn't want to take antidepressants weren't as bad as being dead

I'll take the heartburn I complained about

Because it means my heart is still beating and I didn't rip open my own throat during a panic attack

I do not care about anything around me other than me getting through the darkest period I was ever in